


fata organa

by deanssammy (babylxxrry)



Series: Christmas Gifts 2017 [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Brotherly Love, Character Study, Fluff, Gen, Homoerotic Incestual Subtext, M/M, Reminiscing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 05:41:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13140246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babylxxrry/pseuds/deanssammy
Summary: fata organa: n. a flash of real emotion glimpsed in someone sitting across the room, idly locked in the middle of some group conversation, their eyes glinting with vulnerability or quiet anticipation or cosmic boredom—as if you could see backstage through a gap in the curtains, watching stagehands holding their ropes at the ready, actors in costume mouthing their lines, fragments of bizarre sets waiting for some other production.[they love each other more than anything else on this planet. it's not always very obvious, but little moments are the most telling of all]





	fata organa

**Author's Note:**

> HEY FOX merry christmas here's your present i hope you like it

Sam doesn’t catch Dean with his guard down very often, but for a fleeting second, he sees a certain vulnerability about Dean’s expression when their eyes meet for a moment.

They’re sitting in the bunker, doing idle research for a new case, but neither of them are really putting much effort into it. Sam had glanced up for a moment and caught Dean’s gaze on him.

Sam had seen so much in that second before Dean had smiled softly at him, the shutters coming back down on his eyes.

He’d seen echoes of young Dean, all enthusiasm and stubbornness and gentle care for young Sammy.

He’d seen the taint of Hell, the screams and burns and torture. It’s all too familiar.

He’d seen the callouses of years and years of hunting.

But most of all, he’d seen a quiet, fierce love.

A quiet, fierce love for _him_.

_Dean’s love for Sam._

It’s something that’s always existed, even if Dean’s never been obvious about it. Sam’s always known, though, that Dean loves him more than anything else on this earth, and it’s always been reciprocated.

Sam’s seen it in the way Dean used to help him as best as he could with studying, even once Sam surpassed Dean in grade level. Dean would do history flashcards with him and quiz him on biology and make him snacks when he couldn’t help in subject matter.

Sam’s seen it in the way Dean’s careful with him when he gets hurt, when he has to be stitched and bandaged up. It shows in Dean’s gentle but commanding words and motions when he talks Sam down from a panic attack. It’s the way Dean’s always put his safety above catching whatever monster they were after that day.

Sam’s seen it in the way Dean gives him space to settle into the bunker while still being around enough to reassure him with his presence, in the way Dean makes them dinner most of the nights they’re home, in the way Dean soundlessly gets Sam another beer or refills his water if he’s running low.

It’s the kind of love that’s completely unspoken, but so incredibly tangible in all of Dean’s interactions with him. Thing is, Sam’s found that he’s starting to take it for granted, this unfailing love, and that’s not good. He’s starting to wonder if he’s reading too much into it, if he’s seeing things wrong, if Dean’s just doing it because that’s just his duty as a brother.

Sam really hopes it’s not that. He loves Dean so much, probably more than would be considered simple brotherly affection, but they’ve never been the type to worry about legalities like that. He really, really hopes Dean loves him as much as he loves Dean.

It’s little moments like this that reassure Sam, little moments where he looks up and sees Dean’s adoration for him pure and unadulterated. It’s little moments like this when that he realizes just how special this is, how special it is that they love each other so much, even after all they’ve been through together and apart.

“Dean?” Sam says softly, waiting for his brother to look up and meet his gaze.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.” It’s a simple declaration, but for them, it’s massive. They don’t say that to each other unless one of them has recently died or almost died, prefer to show it in actions and lingering touches here and there rather than state something that feels so monumental but is really just… them. It’s always been like that. They’ve always loved each other, no question.

Sam’s expecting a toothy grin and “no chick-flick moments, man” from Dean, and he’s fine with it. Dean shows his love in so many other ways that a single phrase shouldn’t change anything, but it really does.

“I love you, too, Sammy,” Dean says after a moment, face softening momentarily back into that openly-adoring expression, and a little ball of warmth fills Sam’s chest.

“Good,” Sam says, because he doesn’t really know what else to say.

The corners of Dean’s eyes crinkle as he smiles. “Rendered my smart little brother speechless, that’s an accomplishment for me.”

“You’re a jerk,” Sam whines out of habit, but there’s no heat behind it.

“Then you’re a bitch,” Dean finishes affectionately, reaching over to ruffle Sam’s hair.

Sam laughs and bats at him.

It’s kind of perfect.

 

-fin.

**Author's Note:**

> leave a comment or kudos if you're as big of a fan of homoerotic incestual subtext as i am


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